Good Timber by Douglas Malloch

-
Image
The tree that never had to fight For sun and sky and air and light, But stood out in the open plain, And always got its share of rain, Never became a forest king, But lived and died a scrubby thing.   The man who never had to toil, To gain and farm his patch of soil, Who never had to win his share Of sun and sky and light and air, Never became a manly man But lived and died as he began.   Good timber does not grow with ease: The stronger wind, the stronger trees; The further sky, the greater length; The more the storm, the more the strength. By sun and cold, by rain and snow, In trees and men good timbers grow.   Where thickest lies the forest growth, We find the patriarchs of both. And they hold counsel with the stars Whose broken branches show the scars Of many winds and much of strife. This is the common law of life. - Good Timber by Douglas Malloch
Post a Comment

Emotional Maturity

-
Was doing some research over the weekend on how a child's upbringing during their childhood days affects the child's adulthood, During which I stumbled upon a book - "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents", really an insightful book. 
After reading the book was inspired to make a list of characteristic traits that emotionally mature and immature adults have and thought it would be useful so posted it here. 

Emotional Maturity is a personality trait in which a person has a good understanding of who they are and can manage their emotions no matter their circumstances.  

Characters of adults and elders with emotional immaturity:

  1. They expect everyone to want and value the same things they do 
  2. They expect the people they have hurt to just forgive them when they apologise, and move on with the relationship as if nothing ever happened
  3. They expect others to admire, give attention, watch over and handle them carefully and get upset if it's not met.
  4. They expect others to do well without offering any guidance or help
  5. They abandon others when the going gets tough.
  6. They get irritated when approached for help, Rejecting attempts for getting drawn into emotional interactions and becoming angry or even abusive when pushed for a response.
  7. They expect their partners and friends to give the loving childhood they always wished for.
  8. They Sacrifice themselves so much to win the praise and love of others and at times act out negatively to get others to pay attention to them.
  9. They Belittle others in order to feel strong and capable in comparison. 
  10. They don't self reflect instead of learning and growing from life's experiences and failures - They blame others when things don't go as expected,
  11. They believe that authority figures are always right and instill that beliefs on everyone.
  12. They get involved in others personal things and they don't respect others boundaries.

Characters of adults and elders with Emotional Maturity:
  1. They express and let go - Other's response doesn't matter to them, Because they know not everyone will respond as how they want them to.
  2. They Work with reality rather than fighting it - They see problems and try to fix them instead of over reacting. If changes aren't possible, they find a way to make the best of what they've got.
  3. They can feel and think at the same time
  4. They are consistent - Same across different situations. 
  5. They don't take everything personally
  6. They respect other's Boundaries and individuality - They don't expect others to value or like the things they do.
  7. They give back - They don't like taking advantage of people, nor do they like the feeling of being used.
  8. They are flexible and compromise well - They accept that changes and disappointments are a part of life.
  9. They don't try to win at all costs
  10. They are even tempered - They will tell you what is wrong and ask you to do things differently. 
  11. They have a secure sense of self.
  12. They are truthful
  13. They apologise and make amends - when they know they have hurt someone they understand and care about what you felt and try to change.
  14. They make others feel seen and understood - They embrace others feelings and they don't tell others how to feel.
  15. They reflect on their actions and try to change.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Good Timber by Douglas Malloch

-
Image
The tree that never had to fight For sun and sky and air and light, But stood out in the open plain, And always got its share of rain, Never became a forest king, But lived and died a scrubby thing.   The man who never had to toil, To gain and farm his patch of soil, Who never had to win his share Of sun and sky and light and air, Never became a manly man But lived and died as he began.   Good timber does not grow with ease: The stronger wind, the stronger trees; The further sky, the greater length; The more the storm, the more the strength. By sun and cold, by rain and snow, In trees and men good timbers grow.   Where thickest lies the forest growth, We find the patriarchs of both. And they hold counsel with the stars Whose broken branches show the scars Of many winds and much of strife. This is the common law of life. - Good Timber by Douglas Malloch
Read more

The need to reprogram our thinking for this information age.

-
 Some times during our childhood days, we are programmed to do certain actions to obtain certain results. And our actions for that particular task stops once we obtain the results.  For ex. we are being asked to study well in our school to get admitted into a good university. And do well in the university to get a good job in an awesome jaw-dropping MNC. And to just agree with what ever the elders say and to agree with what ever the men in the house hold says .. etc So due to all this keying which is done into our sub conscious we are led to believe that what ever the person in power/boss/team leader says is correct. or once we get a job we just need to learn to obtain some certifications or just need to study when we want to attend an interview in the next organization.  So after 10 years after graduating when we look back our lives won't be having much of accomplishments. we will be stuck in the same rut and we will remain in the same rut if we don't do anything about i...
Read more